To Be A Mom

Happy Mother’s Day!  Here is my list of things you HAVE to do in order to be a mom.  Enjoy, and feel free to take notes.

To Be a Mom:

1.       You have to have a child.  It needs to come from inside your body, or you need to have adopted a child as your own.  Babysitting doesn’t count and neither does kidnapping.

2.      You have to accept that for the rest of your life, sleep is a luxury and not a right.  People will say it’s only while they're babies, or young children- but I have boys and I’m already up at night worried about the college versions of Charles, Lucas, and Sawyer.  I’m not kidding, last night I was concerning myself with whether or not Charlie would be the type that goes to bed with his composition homework done or tells himself that he’ll wake up extra early and finish then.  He’ll be 5 this July.

3.      You have to acknowledge that with every loving little face comes two elbows, two knees, a pee hole, and a butt.  From your pregnancy on you will be kicked and elbowed in places you didn’t know were vulnerable to another human.  When they’re born you’ll need to get real comfortable with being peed and pooped on.  It’s inevitable, so if you’re one of those easy gaggers- get ready to not be.

4.      You have to work on your patience….always.  You have to learn to be patient with your kids when they ask for the 7593^rd time if they can have a piece of gum or when they slam their head into your nose while throwing a tantrum.  You have to be patient with facebook friends as they tell you just how they did it and what they recommend to improve this positively rewarding parenting experience.  You have to be patient when you hear childless friends explaining how it’s just so frustrating to have a thunderstorm that only allowed them to sleep 7 hours last night.  Cut that amount of sleep in half and you would’ve been happy with that, but you can’t say that or you’re complaining…so be patient.  Their time will come.

5.      You have to take that idea of how perfect things will be and chuck it.  You thought it’d be fun to take the babies to the zoo and take pictures of them with the monkeys?  Wrong.  They hate animals.  And it’s hot out.  You’re now wishing you were in the monkey cage where it’s quieter.  Low expectations when it comes to Pinterest ideas with children are where you’ll find true satisfaction-success is always a bonus.

6.      You have to learn to juggle-physically and mentally.  Your hands used to be full with your purse and cell phone, now you can carry two babies, a diaper bag, a laptop, a purse, keys, and your phone all while opening a door and saving your older (but not smarter) child from eating old gum off the ground.  You used to make a target run when you were out of something.  Now unless it’s baby Tylenol you’re scheduling your target run after your husband has a break from class and the boys lay down for their 14 minute nap.  Juggling, Not Just for Clowns: A Documentary.

7.      You have to let yourself play, cuddle, nap, giggle, and take time for the little things.  I do a lot better with the twins on this than I did with Charles.  I had wanted the house in order before sitting down to play but I now see just how fast the time goes, and nothing balances the chaos of child raising like down-time with your child. Until you’re a parent this won’t make sense.  I babysat and entertained kids as a teen but never really enjoyed it until I looked in the little faces of my boys.  It’s just different.

8.      Finally, and I think this is one of the hardest but most important.   I’ve been a mom for almost 5 years, so I clearly know everything about motherhood- so lean in.  FORGIVE YOURSELF.  You’re not a perfect mom, and you never will be.  You should’ve spent more time with them as a baby, you should’ve been more patient when it came to late night feedings, you should’ve been more strict with tantrums.   These are just the 'small-child regrets!'  I know one day I'll screw up much worse, and I know one if not all of my boys will break my heart at some point and I'll take responsibility.  As I pointed out what my mother was doing all wrong when I was growing up my mom would always say being a mom is the guiltiest job there is.  It is, but a guilty mom isn’t the mom our kids need.  Love your babies, love their daddy.  Love God.  You’ll be alright. 

 

That’s it-I didn’t plan either of my pregnancies but I wouldn’t trade anything for the craziness that happens at Goodview Court....except for a llama farm, a good night sleep, or a body like Jennifer Aniston. 

Just kidding. 

Happy Mothers Day!