Happy Mother’s Day!
Here is my list of things you HAVE to do in order to be a mom. Enjoy, and feel free to take notes.
To Be a Mom:
1.
You have
to have a child. It needs to come from
inside your body, or you need to have adopted a child as your own. Babysitting doesn’t count and neither does
kidnapping.
2.
You have to accept that for the rest of your
life, sleep is a luxury and not a right.
People will say it’s only while they're babies, or young children- but I
have boys and I’m already up at night worried about the college versions of
Charles, Lucas, and Sawyer. I’m not
kidding, last night I was concerning myself with whether or not Charlie would
be the type that goes to bed with his composition homework done or tells
himself that he’ll wake up extra early and finish then. He’ll be 5 this July.
3.
You have to acknowledge that with every loving
little face comes two elbows, two knees, a pee hole, and a butt. From your pregnancy on you will be kicked and
elbowed in places you didn’t know were vulnerable to another human. When they’re born you’ll need to get real comfortable with being peed and
pooped on. It’s inevitable, so if you’re
one of those easy gaggers- get ready to not be.
4.
You have to work on your patience….always. You have to learn to be patient with your
kids when they ask for the 7593rd time if they can have a piece of
gum or when they slam their head into your nose while throwing a tantrum. You have to be patient with facebook friends
as they tell you just how they did it and what they recommend to improve this
positively rewarding parenting experience.
You have to be patient when you hear childless friends explaining how it’s
just so frustrating to have a thunderstorm that only allowed them to sleep 7
hours last night. Cut that amount of
sleep in half and you would’ve been happy with that, but you can’t say that or
you’re complaining…so be patient. Their
time will come.
5.
You have to take that idea of how perfect things will be
and chuck it. You thought it’d be fun to
take the babies to the zoo and take pictures of them with the monkeys? Wrong.
They hate animals. And it’s hot out.
You’re now wishing you were in the
monkey cage where it’s quieter. Low
expectations when it comes to Pinterest ideas with children are where you’ll
find true satisfaction-success is always a bonus.
6.
You have to learn to juggle-physically and
mentally. Your hands used to be full
with your purse and cell phone, now you can carry two babies, a diaper bag, a
laptop, a purse, keys, and your phone all while opening a door and saving your older
(but not smarter) child from eating old gum off the ground. You used to make a target run when you were
out of something. Now unless it’s baby Tylenol
you’re scheduling your target run after your husband has a break from class and
the boys lay down for their 14 minute nap.
Juggling, Not Just for Clowns: A Documentary.
7.
You have to let yourself play, cuddle, nap,
giggle, and take time for the little things.
I do a lot better with the twins on this than I did with Charles. I had wanted the house in order before sitting
down to play but I now see just how fast the time goes, and nothing balances
the chaos of child raising like down-time with your child. Until you’re a
parent this won’t make sense. I babysat
and entertained kids as a teen but never really enjoyed it until I looked in
the little faces of my boys. It’s just
different.
8.
Finally, and I think this is one of the hardest
but most important. I’ve been a mom for
almost 5 years, so I clearly know everything about motherhood- so lean in. FORGIVE YOURSELF. You’re not a perfect mom, and you never will
be. You should’ve spent more time with
them as a baby, you should’ve been more patient when it came to late night
feedings, you should’ve been more strict with tantrums. These are just the 'small-child regrets!' I know one day I'll screw up much worse, and I know one if not all of my boys will break my heart at some point and I'll take responsibility. As I pointed out what my mother was doing
all wrong when I was growing up my mom would always say being a mom is the
guiltiest job there is. It is, but a
guilty mom isn’t the mom our kids need.
Love your babies, love their daddy.
Love God. You’ll be alright.
That’s it-I didn’t plan either of my
pregnancies but I wouldn’t trade anything for the craziness that happens at
Goodview Court....except for a llama farm, a good night sleep,
or a body like Jennifer Aniston.
Just kidding.
Happy Mothers Day!
