Bra Straps and Piddly Problems

Once upon a time there was a happy, healthy, energetic girl inside of me. 
Once upon a time my skin glowed from the sun and my 6 hours of sleep was plenty. 
Once upon a time I'd throw on shorts and tank and walk to the lake with my little boy.
Once upon a time my house was clean and my hair was done nicely.

Once upon a time I didn't pee my pants on a daily basis.
Once upon a time .....

Andy and I had talked about the possibility of another child before my son got too old, we liked a gap but didn't want it too big.  No sooner had we tossed the idea around in a prayer or two when I got the hunch and took a test.  Positive.  I shared my news with Andy in a very carefully-laid out performance and he was overjoyed, as was I.  This is obviously what God wanted! 

Two weeks later Andy left for Las Vegas with a friend while I got hit the night before by the morning sickness truck.  I was tired, sick, and not looking forward to a week alone when I decided to go the doctor and ask for the medicine they'd given me last pregnancy to help retain some of what I ate.  Andy was still on the plane when the doctor ordered an ultrasound to check dates and look into a small concern he'd noticed in my abdominal exam.  The tech was taking her sweet little time telling me what was going on and 20 minutes into my ultrasound I finally asked if she could see my baby and whether or not she could verify my dates for what my due date would be.  She hesitated for about 5 seconds, which was more than enough time for me to think about each and every terrible thing that could be wrong with my little one...twice.  She finally clicked one last click on the keyboard and looked at me with an expression I couldn't read.  I blurted out, "Well can you see my baby?!"  She slowly replied, "Well, honey, do twins run in your family?"  This marked the first of many episodes where I peed my...well...gown in this case.

Since my six week ultrasound I've come to accept a lifestyle I never in a  million gazillion trillion poopillion years expected.  For one, I was popping out of my pants and shirts two weeks later at just 8 little weekers.  My bras started making it nearly impossible to breathe, and it's always fun to walk into a bank with an unsnapped bra up at my chin- I ALWAYS remember to unsnap them in private, but not always to RE-SNAP them.  My poor husband and close friends have gotten real used to this oversight. 

Another big adjustment I've made, and it still surprises me how easily I've desensitized myself to this- I get peed on A LOT.  Let me explain.  Andy just potty trained Charlie and let's just go ahead and call him a dripper.  Without fail,  he pees on me every single time I help put his undies back on after going potty 497 times between getting home from daycare and bedtime.  It doesn't phase me, I wipe it on whatever is closest and move on without flinching.  Then there's me, I pee a little every time I sit down, every time I yawn, every time I sneeze, every time I cough, walk down steps, or slam on the brakes.  It's gotten to where I bring extra pants everywhere I go, which is tough when I only have 3 pair that will embrace my new body. 

Pregnant with multiples, Angelina Jolie has done it and if the tabloids are correct, she's doing it again.  M Carey did it.  They all bounce right back and look so chic while doing it. Not this whale.  No way.