It happens to every Church-going family, and it happens often. I can say this with conviction because I was raised in a family of redeemed sinners, and I now help my husband lead one. Without a doubt, Satan's favorite morning to attack is Sunday. I picture the Devil prowling the earth Sunday mornings with a skip in his step and a cheeky grin on his face, knowing he'll be successful in interrupting several parents from worshiping their Savior and absorbing God's Word. How does he strike? Well I don't know about your home, but here's how Sunday went down on Goodview Court.
Wake up Em, wake up. Your twins haven't slept two out of the four last nights, but they're cutting 5 teeth between the two of them, and their poor butts are as red as the smoke detector light you've been staring at since 1 am while they let you hear all about it. Desitin, clean diaper, tylenol, orajel, more cereal, more bottle, rocking, singing, sympathy sobs from mama...... and repeat. But Jesus knows what you're dealing with, and he still wants to see you with His people today. I'm up. I'm up. I hear the speaker from the women's conference in the back of my mind telling me if I'm not willing to make space in my family for being where Jesus is me and my family could miss all Jesus has for us, and my family NEEDS Jesus.
Directory pictures today- we need to look nice. Did I wear this dress last week? In order to answer that, I'd have to think hard about choices I made 7 whole days ago and I'm not sure my brain is there yet this morning- Polka Dots Round 2 it is. I brush my teeth and start making bottles and Charlie's cereal. Where's Andy? Why isn't he helping? I remember to keep the joy of the Lord, I won't let Satan destroy what I need so desperately this morning. Charlie walks up the stairs and he's...well...disgusting. We're not going to God's house like this. I tell him to eat fast and then I'll run a bath for him. I greet my drool soaked little screamers and realize they too need to be scrubbed down before Church. Three baths, two bottles, and one bowl of cereal later everyone is clean and fed. It's times like this I'm glad I don't have little heads of hair to braid.
Andy gets up and I bribe him to make me an english muffin while I get the boys dressed. I originally was going for a matching look, since that's apparently the twin thing to do, but then settle for one lucky twin with a cute outfit and one unlucky twin with a nineties hand me down. Praise God for clothing they'll be warm in, even if it's corduroy knee patches and color-block polos. I remind myself Jesus doesn't need us to meet Him only when we're attractive, he just needs us to show up.
On the way to Church Charlie tells us all about how green light means "Go," yellow light means "Whoa," and red light means "GO HOME!" ??? He goes on to explain that he's "Starving-er than Kuhle (our child from Swaziland we now sponsor)." No you're not, not even close. Andy's jokes are striking the very nerve I'm barely keeping and the twins are still crying. I can basically hear the drool ruining their shirts. Deep breath, don't let the enemy win. I'll miss these days one day, isn't that what they say? I politely tell Andy that once we get inside I'm dumping the twins in the nursery and giving Charlie two pieces of gum, which usually muffles the questions... if not halting them all together so I can focus on worship. His response, "Well you can do what you want with Sawyer and Charlie but I'm holding the fat one- he loves me." PERFECT! You do that- Just sit a few pews behind me and take a plug if you don't mind. I have a much needed appointment with Jesus I can't miss...or else.
I can honestly say my heart was still in the right place and I was choosing to take courage over the situation rather than giving in as we started toward the Church doors from the back of the parking lot. I was carrying an oversize purse, a diaper bag, the before mentioned 'fat one' in his carseat, and coaxing Charlie to walk faster. We were moving as fast as possible with all my cargo and then Charlie insisted on doing the 'hokey pokie' all the way to the door. He keeps yelling, "Mom watch me! I'm growing up SO fast." It was at this point as I was waddling awkwardly towards the sidewalk I just kept thinking that if Jesus could just get me to the door, I promise I'd be receptive and surrender myself to His teachings, I'd apply His principles and promises to my life every day this week. He'd just have to get me inside these walls and I'd be His. I don't remember saying anything aloud, but I'm told that I then loudly exclaimed "I'M COMING JESUS! I'M ALMOST THERE!"
Imagine the sight of a disheveled woman toting far more than she should and dragging four boys as fast as they'll move towards Church, and then hearing her screaming phrases to heaven on top of it. I'm surprised they didn't just lock the doors before the craziness could enter!
Praise God He always gives us a way of escape, and that we can take courage over circumstances that try our patience and test our peace. Just writing this two days later, my morning obstacles seem ridiculous and petty, but at the time it took constant dependency on Jesus to not snap at one of my boys and then beg for them to put a smile over those tears for Directory Pictures. Making space for Jesus where there seems to be no give in life is something I haven't done well- it's way too easy to blame backsliding on life, whether it's having babies, crazy work schedules, a family member with a sniffle, or even out of town company. Someone once told me it's very rare that a child grows up to have higher expectations for themselves than their parents did- and if that's true we need to put the utmost urgency behind maintaining a relationship with Jesus and His people, even when the world gives us an out. His Mercies are overwhelming and I've learned some amazing things these last few weeks, this is just one. Hopefully it encourages you to not lose hope or momentum- we're leading little souls and it's an enormous responsibility. Praise God for His never-ending patience when ours runs out. II Timothy 2:13- it's just who He is!
